I never in a million years thought I would be here writing this. I have always wanted to be a mom. While I always imagined multiple kids, it never came into my mind that I would have two at once. My dad is a twin. He has a twin sister, but for years we heard how “it was a fluke” and there was no way any of us would have twins, but one year ago today I found out it wasn’t a fluke. I was pregnant with twins and I was shocked.
Let me rewind a little bit first. In September 2017, me and my husband decided to start trying for a baby. We were very lucky. By October I was pregnant and we were overjoyed. The first two weeks after I found out I was pregnant I felt fine. I was tired and a little nauseous, but nothing I thought was necessary to worry about. By six weeks that all changed. One night after our weekly game night with friends I woke up incredibly sick. I thought I must have gotten food poisoning or something because it came out of nowhere. To my dismay it wasn’t food poisoning and it didn’t go away.
For three days I could only sleep during the day. Every night, without fail, I would get violently sick. I would lay in bed, watching Rules of Engagement with a cold rag on my head, hurling my guts into the trash can. I was plagued with anxiety attacks. There was nothing left in my stomach and I was mostly throwing up stomach acid. My husband was my rock. He rubbed my back and held my hair, offering me words of encouragement and wiping away my tears. By the third day I hit a wall. I was dizzy and dehydrated. There was no way I could sustain life with how sick I was.
My husband, who is currently serving in the United States Air Force, was able to get me an appointment early in the morning to see a doctor. I threw up twice on the way there. I had black circles under my eyes. I was down 15 pounds. Nothing about the situation was good. People stared at me in the waiting room as I held a bag in my lap, waiting for the next round of sickness to take over. I didn’t throw up. Instead I blacked out.
The doctor was of no use. They recommended over the counter medicine and told me they would only recommend going to the emergency room if I had lost consciousness. We immediately drove to the emergency room at Tampa General Hospital. They got me back into a room immediately. They hooked me up to fluids which helped a little bit. They then gave me anti nausea medication and I started to feel like a person again. The doctor came in and told me they wanted to do an ultrasound just to make sure everything was okay. I was excited and nervous. I was going to get to see my baby!
The ultrasound was miserable. I had to be on my back, something that only made my nausea worse. I couldn’t see the screen and it was miserably cold in the room. It was not at all how I imagined my first ultrasound. The technician didn’t talk. She didn’t tell me how things looked. I started to worry something was wrong. My fears only grew when she left the room “to get a second opinion.”
I looked at my husband and started to cry. I told him my fears. I told him I knew something was wrong with the baby. He was able to see the ultrasound screen during the ultrasound. He said he didn’t think anything was wrong, but he couldn’t tell what he was looking at. He just said he saw “two blinking lights.” When the second ultrasound technician came in, she seemed different than the one before. She was smiling. Surely this was good, right? I will never forget what she said. “Normally we are supposed to wait for the doctor to tell you this, but I just get so excited.” Now I was confused. She pointed to the screen that was now turned towards us. “Here is baby A and here is baby B. You’re having twins!” If there was anything in my stomach, I think I probably would have thrown up. I’m not proud to admit I called her a liar and asked her to check again.
After they wheeled us back to the room we just kept staring at each other and saying “twins.” My husband was over the moon. I was terrified. We called our parents. His parents were excited. Mine were too, but my mom kept saying “oh my god” on a loop for six minutes. My sister was getting married in California in a few weeks and this presented us with a few obstacles.
I’m happy to say the fear did eventually go away. As I write this my twins are napping and I cannot begin to imagine life without them. I am so excited to share our twin journey with all of you and introduce you to Grayson and Amelia, my beautiful babies, the Morin Twins.