Having twins, I get asked a lot of questions every time we leave the house. For some reason people think when they see twins it gives them an all access pass to ask as many questions as they like. “Are they fraternal or identical?” “Were they natural?” “Do twins run in your family?” “Who is older?” These are just some examples of the questions we get asked every time we leave our home. There is one thing I never expected to be questioned on though: how I feed my children.
How you choose to feed your baby is a super personal choice. While breastfeeding is absolutely wonderful, not all women can, wether that be due to medical reasons or something else. When I was pregnant I was determined to breastfeed. I imagined myself tandem nursing, telling myself that my body and my babies would just naturally know what to do, so when we faced problems in the hospital I was totally heartbroken. Amelia struggled getting milk out. No matter how hard she sucked she just couldn’t get anything, even though multiple lactation consultants said her latch was great. Grayson could get milk, but within five minutes of nursing he would fall asleep and be up a half hour later looking for more milk. It was not going well.
I asked the nurses for a pump multiple times and they kept trying to tell me it wasn’t a good idea. “I needed to just work on the latch” and “the babies would get there eventually.” I was not being listened to and it was driving me nuts. I knew women exclusively pumped due to a friend going through it. I figured if I could get milk out I would at least be able to feed my children. I finally demanded one. They wouldn’t let me give Amelia a bottle. They insisted she would just get confused, so we fed her with a syringe.
The day we were supposed to leave the hospital they held us for longer because Amelia was not having enough diaper output. They were concerned she was not getting enough milk. They forced formula on her after I had finally gotten breastmilk in her. She threw up everything and I felt like I was failing my child. Luckily her diaper output improved and we were able to go home.
At home we continued to struggle. I was nursing Grayson while my husband syringe fed Amelia and afterward I would pump. The whole process was exhausting. Finally I had enough. We decided to take my pumped breastmilk and give each of the babies a bottle. For the first time since I had them, they ate great. No one fell asleep during their feeding. No one spit up. My kids had full bellies and they were happy. That is how I became an exclusive pumper.
I am so lucky that I am able to breastfeed my kids, even if it does look a little different than what we traditionally consider breastfeeding. We are just shy of five months into our pumping journey and the kids are doing great. They continue to grow. They eat great. The moral of my story is stand up for what is best for you and your family. Nursing didn’t work for us, but breastfeeding through pumping does. For some women formula is the option, while other women nurse their babies with no issue. At the end of the day we are all just mothers trying to feed our babies.
Marvelous Mrs. Morin 